Pit Weasel

I'll bet you didn't know that we've been able to produce genetically engineered personal hygenie pets for years. Yes, available in Ocean Fresh, Ideal Pine and Musque Classique, pit weasels have been freshening underams and warming hearts in Europe for since the Carter administration. And yes, anachronistic import laws and the powerful white crust lobby have kept these bracing critters out of our borders and medicine chests for no good reason.